TENDER LOVE VS. TOUGH LOVE -- Devotional for June 2, from "Good Seeds"

As your spiritual father I certainly had a right to make some demands of you, but instead I was humble among you, like a child playing at your side, and like a mother softly singing to you, and gently feeding and caring for you (1 Thessalonians 2:7-8). The Lord disciplines those He loves, and punishes each one He calls His own. As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children (Heb 12:6-7).

Jimmy Rodgers sings this sweet song: “Tender love and care I will give you always; tender love and care, both in big and small ways. When you need me you’ll find me there, at your side anytime, anywhere, giving tender love and care to you.” These are the words of a man in love, but they also speak of a mother’s love, and even more, of God’s TLC for you and me. How could anyone say there’s enough of this kind of love in the world, for as another song says, “It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.” And shouldn’t this be the way wives and husbands treat one another? Certainly! Oh, if only it could be that simple! What about the husband who says, “Honey, if you love me, you’ll put up with my language, my magazines, my booze, and all my other innocent little shortcomings.” Any wife who swallows this line to the point of practicing tender love and care on a grown man who demands to be catered to like a helpless and innocent infant, will find herself boosting his childish ego while feeding his evil addictions. He calls it love and reminds her that it is her duty to give it. She calls it love because without knowing it her instincts have kicked in and she’s practicing unconditional motherly love again. I shudder to think what God calls it, but I know this: what could and should be a beautiful thing – tender, compassionate, unconditional love – has become the lock and key that keeps her man in a hellish prison, a prison of their own making! The Bible provides the perfect balance to TENDER LOVE, and the perfect cure for its ill effects (when it turns from godly sweetness to satanic saccharine) – a cure called, TOUGH LOVE. When a husband or a wife has returned to immature childhood and starts throwing tantrums, demanding to have his or her carnal needs met and pleasures satisfied, it’s time to set aside the tender love and bring in the tough love, the same as any wise parent would do. Alanon calls this action: “Detach with love.” Though it may look like a rejection, it is rather a subjection, to the kind of discipline that drives the evil out of the heart, and draws the loved one back home. We must never stop loving, but learn when it’s time to set aside Miss Tender and call in Mr. Tough.